


Dreaming Wide Awake

by the_lie_eternal



Series: Marko and his Mental Illness [5]
Category: Poets of the Fall
Genre: AU, I have a thing for rushed endings, The End?, clearview, the doctor is actually pretty chill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 05:46:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11914455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_lie_eternal/pseuds/the_lie_eternal
Summary: Help … a word I haven't heard in a while.





	Dreaming Wide Awake

I deeply needed to concentrate not to faint as I stood in front of "the room" – the doctor's office. The female guard gave me a last devilishly grin as she pushed me inside into the arms of another guard.

'Saaresto. I counted the days until the moment you will finally sit here, in front of me.' a calm male voice said … was that the doc –

The guard pushed me down on a weird old leather chair and gave the man in front of me a questioning look.

'Leave.' the doctor commanded.

'Boss, he is dangerous.' the guard replied.

'So were the others before him. Leave, we need to talk.' the man repeated and so the guard left without a further comment. Time for me to take a closer look at the doc. He seemed so … innocent.

Shoulder-long brown hair covering a quarter of his face, black glasses, bearded … not how I imagined death himself. Added to that he was actually smaller than me. So that man should be the person my colleagues warned me about?

'Ah, another one who believes in the fairy tales about me. I thought you'd be more intelligent than those before you. Why did they label you as the most dangerous inmate Versailles ever had? Tell me a little bit about yourself, Saaresto.' the doctor rambled and I just shook my head. There was nothing to fear about in sight, not a single hint of torture and pain – was it all a show? Was he trying to fool me?

'There's enough information about me in your notes, no need for me to explain.' I replied coldly and continued scanning the room for any secret doors or stuff.

'Marko.' he said, I looked back at him 'I don't want to know what they think you are – I want to know who **you** are. "Voices in his head" – amazing. That doesn't help me much.' he explained, closed the dictionary in front of him and stood up. He walked around the big desk and sat down on the other leather chair next to mine. He wasn't clothed like a normal doctor, he wore usual, basic everyday clothes. Something was totally wrong about that whole situation but I couldn't think about what it was.

'Is that the pre-talk of the torture? Why do they call you death? I can't understand any of this.' I shook my head mumbling. A sigh was heard.

'You believe them? You believe mentally ill people talking about places they have never been?'

'But Ja- '

'Jaska didn't want to lose you, he wanted you both to stay together so he spread the fear about Clearview. I am honest, nobody here wants to kill you, nobody uses torture and for suffer and pain you go back to the hospital you came from. Do I look like a killer? I want to help you, all of you who come here. Other doctors would just sentence you all to death, I found a better alternative. Sometimes my patients even can leave this hospital after a while … back into the real, normal life. However, it doesn't work with everyone – but I have a strong belief that you are one who can make it. Now, do me a favor and let me know more about you. And don't call me doctor or this shit, Jari is my name.' the man exclaimed with a caring voice and I tried to understand. Jaska lied? Everyone lied?

Help … a word I haven't heard in a while. Nobody ever wanted to help me, to cure me. It's sound almost distracted me from the fact his explanation could be a ground-off lie too. Nevertheless, I decided to share my thoughts with Jari, the doctor. I had nothing left anyway.

 

'You see, your real state of health is everything but what is written in my notes.' Jari nodded and put his hand on my shoulder.

'Aren't you scared? Being alone in a room with horrible and sick people every day?' I wanted to know. I began trusting him, screw the stories I heard about him.

'You guys aren't horrible, just misunderstood.'

'How about the screams I heard earlier, when Markus was in here?'

'Screams? The head sometimes creates things which are not there, most of the time if one is scared of something. Kaarlonen sat here, crying in silence. I did not hurt him, I swear.'

'Where is he now?'

'His cell, with some luck you both will be next to each other, but don't expect any funny conversation.' the man's smile faded and he walked over to an innocent looking closet which was filled with various meds and syringes. 'I am afraid the talking session is over for now, Marko.' Jari mumbled and turned around with one said syringe.

'What … ' I tried to ask but the look in the doc's face made me shut up.

 

_…I want to help you…_

_…some make it, some not…_

_…I believe in you…_

_…you are just misunderstood…_

_…Marko…_

 

The pain of the needle faded just as my consciousness.


End file.
